Redneck Jokes

[chipper]

Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even got electricity!" The second hillbilly said "My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain't even got runnin water!"

The third hillbilly said "My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin there... and she ain't even got a d1ck!"




One night, a redneck farmer gets drunk. He grabs his wife's tits and says, "If these could give milk, we could get rid of the cows."

He grabs her butt and says, "If this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens."

The wife grabs the farmer's d1ck and says, "And if this stayed hard, we could get rid of your brother."

[The Mad Welsh Man]

nice one

[mr-tommo]

hehe, nice one Chipper

[Gordon]

• Artery - The study of paintings.
• Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
• Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
• Benign - What you be after you be eight.
• Catscan - Searching for Kitty.
• Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
• Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome.
• Colic - A sheep dog.
• Coma - A punctuation mark.
• D&C - Where Washington is.
• Dilate - To live long.
• Enema - Not a friend.
• Fester - Quicker than someone else.
• Fibula - A small lie.
• Genital - Non-Jewish person.
• G.I.Series - World Series of military baseball.
• Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.
• Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
• Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work.
• Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane.
• Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.
• Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
• Node - I knew it.
• Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
• Ovaries - You get to try again.
• Pap Smear - A fatherhood test.
• Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.
• Post Operative - A letter carrier.
• Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
• Rectum - Pretty near killed him.
• Secretion - Hiding something.
• Seizure - Roman emperor.
• Tablet - A small table.
• Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.
• Tumor - More than one.
• Urine - Opposite of you're out.
• Varicose - Near by/close by.

[chipper]

A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.

She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."

Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"

[Honey]

:eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: For the above jokes.

[James]

good old rednecks

[chipper]

A newlywed redneck couple arrive at their hotel to begin their honeymoon.

The manager greets them and says "I see you're newlyweds! ... I can give you the Bridal".

To which the husband replies "No thanks, I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets the hange of it !"

[The Mad Welsh Man]