Letters!

[Jo R33]

Extracts from letters to landlords.....

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen!

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage!

The toilet is cracked, where do I stand!

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door!

Will you please send a man to check my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink!

[Andy M]

Love it - oldy but goody

[Gordon A]

there were a load of them.
the one i remebered was something about mould growing in his back passage

[Gordon]

Actual council tenants complaints

These are genuine clips from British council flat tenants complaining to the council about there flats

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it

He’s got this big huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore

It’s the dog mess I find hard to swallow

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage

And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence

I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand

I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall

Will you please send someone to mend my garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

50% of the walls are damp 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy

I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers


The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared

Will you please send a man to look at my water it is a funny colour and not fit to drink

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces

I want to complain about the farmer across the road every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden , which is unsightly and dangerous

Our kitchen floor is damp, we have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it

I am a single women living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife

I have the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can’t get BBC2

[RavenHeart]

Ha ha!

[Jo R33]

[The Mad Welsh Man]